What We Are Up To – Something Fresh From The Labs

Hello everyone!

The Lab Coats keep telling us that the mercs need more firepower. There was a bunch more they kept babbling on about, but we tuned that out once we saw these new specimens for the Firebugs out there. Now they haven’t exactly been “field tested”, or tested at all really (unless you count cute furry, irradiated animals in the backwoods of Cornwall). But that’s where you come in!

Have you ever wanted to microwave something clear across the room, or within eyesight really? Look no further than the new Helios Rifle (patent pending)! This baby fires balls of plasma in full auto or three round burst that we can (mostly) guarantee will cook your enemies from inside out and keep going to cook their friends too!

Did we mention we needed help testing that guarantee before wider rollout, just make sure we have an updated copy of your HZ-507 testing forms, notarized in triplicate, on file before handling, or being anywhere near this weapon.

But wait, there’s more!

Was the sound of rounds built on the “science” of dark magic known as “microwaves” not enough for you? Did you want to know what would happen if somebody took that tech and took it to 11? Well lucky you, so did the lab coats back in R&D!

She fires energy bolts down range, and any entrepreneuring user can choose to “overcharge” the Killerwatt and send a beam of, what did they call it? Tesla destruction down range, destroying all in its path, making you, the new king of the battlefield! Something something harmful side effects*. Please don’t visit a doctor, as you may kill them via exposure to your newly irradiated body – but who needs them anyway when you are in the line of work that you are?